Photo: Steve Double

WHERE ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE THE VIBES LIKE? At home. I've only seen them twice, they're pretty good

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Space Dust

WHAT WAS THE LAST VIDEO YOU RENTED? Toxic A venger
Balleater(famous bootleg chainsaw film)

WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD BOOK YOU READ? Dice Man - Luke Reinhart
201 Great Sausages

FAVE POLITICAL FIGURES Citizen Smith
Clint Eastwood

WHAT TV SHOWS DO YOU TRY NOT TO MISS? Whicker's World, Bullseye

WHICH PUBLIC FIGURE DO YOU MOST DESPISE? "Your captain, Lionel Blair"

WHAT WERE YOU GOOD AT AT ART SCHOOL? Top Trumps

FAVE TV SHOWS OF YESTERYEAR Magpie, Logan's Run, Babapapa, Six Million DollarMan,Space 1999, Crackerjack

MOST EMBARRASSING RECORDS IN YOUR COLLECTION 'What You're Proposing' - Status Quo
'England World Cup Theme'
'Can Can' - Bad Manners

NAME SOME GOOD THINGS ABOUT WIGAN Verve FC (Verve are chairmen of the local football team); diving off the pier into the cool blue waters of the River Douglas; Bernie Mc

FAVE SCI-FI MOVIES Barbarella, Phantom Toll Booth, Space Invaders

FAVE PUNK ROCK RECORDS 'Pretty Vacant' - Sex Pistols
'F-ed Up And Pretty' - The Snotts (seminal Wigan punk outfit)

FAVE HISTORICAL CHARACTERS Pete Marsh (Bog Man), Rasputin

FAVE BOARD GAMES Yahtzee, Twister (aroused and naked)

WORST LYRIC YOU'VE EVER HEARD "Too much love will kill you in the end"

WHO'S OVERRATED? Pamella Bordes, Sexy Sadie

WHO'S UNDERRATED? Christ, Elvis, George Best, The Snotts

WHO'S SEXY Jane The Snake, Beautifu Bobby, Flying Brian

WHAT SCARES YOU? Rats, Bobby Charlton, Richard Nixon

WHAT BORES YOU? Armchair politics, wine gums

CAN YOU QUOTE A LINE OF POETRY? "Confusion would be my epitaph/As I walked a cracked and broken path. " Pete Sinfield of 5 Star and King Crimson fame

PUNCHLINE TO FAVOURITE JOKE "Sausages 30 mph, plop, plop, plop"

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE TO? My bed

FAVE TAKEAWAY Chinese, Italian

NAME A RECORD THAT CAN MAKE YOU CRY 'Love Theme' -love Unlimited Orchestra

WHEN WERE YOU LAST DRUNK? Tonight - (Handwriting son trails off down the page)

WHAT WAS THE LAST DREAM YOU CAN REMEMBER? I was trapped in a large maggot-infested room, a foot rat was making love t Richard Nixon, Bobby Charlton appeared with a full head of hair, claiming be Vidal Sassoon

THREE RECORDS GUARANTEED TO MAKE TO DANCE 'Wanna Take You Higher' Sly; 'Machine Gun - 'Commodores; 'Yo Yo' - Rose Royce

WHAT CAN YOU COOK? lightly chipped potatoes, garnished with a fine mal vinegar and a pinch of salt

LAST GREAT RECORD YOU HEARD 'Aren't You Glad' - Spirit

FAVE RADIO PROGRAMME Bird Sounds on 100.3 FM (test transmission for Classic FM)

WORST JOB YOU EVER HAD Hairdresser, swimming pool maintenance

MOTTO "Only a fool breaks the 2 second rule"